Why?

Why? Probably because I love to read the blogs of others, so why not express myself and let others read mine. Writing to me has always been easy for me, but as the saying goes, "use it or lose it" and I feel I need to keep "it." I need a more silent way of communicating. Perhaps, this can be a de-stresser in my life that actually works and is not on a monthly payment plan. My goal is to start off by committing to write here once to twice a week, if I make it a habit hopefully I can do more as time allows.


So here we go...


Today is a beautiful rainy Saturday. Not many days like this in SoCal, they are far and few. The hubby is on a work trip and the kid is at a birthday party. My morning was spent with my dad and grandpa; the three of us went grocery shopping - it was actually fun - it was part of my "project" job list.


My dad has me worried. I love the guy to pieces. I will always be a daddy's girl. Yes, I have daddy issues, but he was the one stable one in my house growing up, despite his "man-whoring" hobby. His last mistress ended up being my step-mom and has been in the picture for the last 19 years. A good step-mother? No. A good grandmother? Yes, my daughter loves her to pieces. The last two years have been rocky and I have noticed a strain on my her and my dad. Little did I know she was the one who was now the cheater. What goes around comes around and now my dad is crushed. The man who was the symbol of stability is now the man who now finds it difficult to function through the day. Oh ya, one major point I forgot to point out...they work in the same building / job and have been at their place of employment for over the last 30+ years.

My dad is now alone and he was not manufactured to be a loner. I think depression is settling in and he is bitter. More and more I see myself accommodating my schedule planning to fit him into my daily and weekly routine. My dad is only 49 years old, but in the last six months, he has aged at a faster pace. He is no longer the suave "man-whore" he used to be in his 20's. He is a loner. He's sad. I am worried. I love my daddy. Dad is now my hobby / project.